always
I don’t think you’ll come back here ever again.
I guess that means you’re moving on.
And that’s good.
I have some things to say to you, I did some thinking about everything that has happened, I understood some things better, and wrote it down somewhere. And I have to let you know. I hope you’ll understand better.
You could leave. It is okay.
It happens, it happens. This is life.
You have given me your fair share, I have given you mine.
Now accept and be content with it, you may throw it away once you tire of it.
Yes you may, and I will watch you and I will accept.
I gave what I gave, it is up to you what you wish to do with it.
As a giver, I give and expect nothing out of it.
It is the same as giving a beggar on the street 10 dollars. What I gave was from my heart and meant with good intent, whether he uses it to buy beer or a new set of PJs, that is none of my concern anymore. I can only do so much, I can only advice/guide him to choose one but in the end, the decision remains his.
What happens then, to my love for you?
There is a fine line drawn between admiring, infatuation, falling in love, being in love, and loving.
I love you. It doesn’t necessarily mean that I have to like you, be in love with you or want to be with you.
To love you to me is to…
- give you love without expecting anything back
- to believe in your worth and value as a human being
- to have faith in you
- to want the best for you
- to let you go, so that you will be able to stand on your own
- to accept you when you are being difficult, and not feel forsaken for it
- to tell you the truth, to not keep you in the dark
- to offer you a hand in times of trouble (that is all, it is your choice whether to accept or not. and my hand is always out, you need not ask.)
- to allow you to make mistakes, to give you time and space, to grow
- to be friends with you
- to pray for you
- to let you live the life you want
That is my love for you. It is not perfect, but nothing is.
And no, I realized that I do not want you to always stay because you can walk away. Anyone, everyone can do that.
I may ask of you, but I will not force it on you to stay.
I do not want you to fulfill any of my wishes or my dreams.
I will let you go, you are free.
The choices and decisions we make are solely ours.
A person may influence our thoughts and actions,
but no one is responsible for what we make out of our lives.
Forget me if you have to, forget me if you wish.
Throw away this me you have always known if it helps you.
And when we meet again, it’ll be a new me.
People change, I will change. You will change.
And I wont want to let the past stop me from acknowledging the new you.
You will be better, I will be better.
So goodbye for now, goodbye to this.
